On Tuesday, February 3 our little girl was born stillborn with the umbilical cord wrapped around her neck. I was 28 weeks along, so she was only 1 lb 9 oz. and 13 inches long, but perfect in every way. Nathan and I spent the evening alone in the hospital room holding her and kissing her, and got to catch a glimpse of heaven as we did so. We dressed her up in preemie clothes and took pictures, and just held her and cried. Those were really special hours we will always treasure and be grateful for. We named her Julianne Holladay after my best friend in New York.
The three older kids got to come to the hospital and hold Julianne and feel of her special spirit. Friday afternoon we had a small, simple graveside service for her. It was very difficult, but spiritual as well. I don’t know why Heavenly Father took little Julianne from us when we were so excited to have her in our family, but we know that everything is in His hands. We have felt His loving arms around us throughout the whole birth and burial and now as we mourn her loss. We have been blessed through the prayers of family members and friends and have grown closer as a family because of this experience.
On Saturday Nathan and I went to the temple together, which brought us much comfort and peace. My sister, Lori, who had come out to help for the week, brought the children afterward and we enjoyed walking around the temple grounds as a family. I'm so grateful for the knowledge we have that families are forever.
